A few months back, I was chatting with someone when they stopped mid-conversation, smiled, and asked,
“Are you dating someone? Are you in love? “
I smiled and laughed a little.
“No…I’m not dating anyone.”
They smiled even bigger.
“You’re glowing. I thought for sure you were dating someone.”
I’ll admit, I was caught off guard a bit.
She wasn’t talking about my makeup being done really well with a glowy effect (I do my makeup the same every day and it’s not fancy…). She meant something deeper.
Was I glowing?
I guess so.
But it wasn’t because there was a man in my life.
It wasn’t because I had just gotten back from vacation.
It wasn’t because everything in my life was perfect (things are great, don’t get me wrong, but things aren’t perfect).
The more I thought about it, the more I realized there was one thing that had changed over the past several months.
I had become even more intentional about living with gratitude and feeling into that gratitude.
I even remember sending a couple of Marco Polo’s to one of my friends telling her how grateful I was for all of these little things in my life.
I was bursting with gratitude.
And honestly, people could see it.
The Glow That Starts From Within
A lot of people believe that happiness was something waiting for them in the future.
I’ll be happier when…
…I make more money.
…I find the right relationship.
…I accomplish that goal.
…I finally have everything figured out.
The problem with that thinking is that happiness is always one achievement away.
Gratitude completely changes that.
Instead of constantly looking ahead, start noticing what is already around you, what you already have.
Gratitude Changes What I See
One morning I was walking through my backyard looking at my garden.
The tomatoes were finally growing.
The raspberries were beginning to ripen.
The birds were singing.
Nothing about that morning was extraordinary.
But because I slowed down enough to notice it, it became beautiful.
I’ve realized gratitude doesn’t create a perfect life.
It helps us finally notice the one we already have.
When you train your mind to look for blessings instead of problems, your entire perspective begins to shift.
People notice that.
Gratitude Changes Relationships
Something interesting happens when your heart is full.
You become easier to be around.
You’re less critical.
More patient.
More generous.
You listen better.
You celebrate other people’s successes instead of comparing yourself.
Whether you’re single, married, divorced, or somewhere in between, gratitude changes how you show up for the people around you.
And people are naturally drawn to joyful people.
Not fake happiness.
Real contentment.
When I had my last 9-5 job, one of my co-workers would walk past my desk pretty much every day and ask how I was.
My everyday response was, ‘Really good,’ or ‘Great.’
He eventually asked if I wasn’t ever great.
I just replied with, ‘Not really.’
Sure, my days aren’t perfect, but I can always find something to be grateful for and that makes it a great day.
I know I am blessed – I see blessings every single day and am incredibly grateful for them.
Gratitude Changes Confidence
One thing I’ve noticed is that gratitude also quiets insecurity.
There are times when I start to compare with myself with others and think what a loser I am.
How come I didn’t gain 100,000 YouTube subscribers when she did, even though I started my channel the same time as her?
How come I’m not making $10,000 monthly from the Amazon Influencer program when other people that started after me are making $40,000 a month?
The list could go on and on.
Luckily, I take a moment to breathe and think of what I do have. I do have 21,000 YouTube subscribers and I can make a difference for those people.
And, if I need to, think of those that never get to 21,000 YouTube subscribers.
Instead of constantly focusing on what I lack, I spend more time appreciating who I’ve become and what I’ve been blessed with.
I’m grateful for my healthy body.
I’m grateful for the ability to teach, create, write, and encourage.
I’m grateful for lessons that were painful but made me stronger.
Confidence doesn’t come from believing you’re perfect.
It comes from recognizing you’ve already been blessed more than you can fathom.
I know there are so many blessings I overlook.
I am grateful for those blessings I do recognize.
That kind of confidence looks different.
It’s quieter.
Calmer.
More peaceful.
And, even adds a glow.
Gratitude Is Contagious
Have you ever spent time with someone who constantly complains?
You leave feeling exhausted.
I had a friend in high school that nothing would go right for and she would tell us all about it.
How her boss switched her schedule and now she couldn’t do something. She had too much homework and the teacher didn’t like her. The list went on day after day.
It was hard to constantly be around her because it was depressing.
Now switch to this.
I remember one of my roommates telling me, as we were driving back to our house together, that she started to appreciate the sky and the beauty around her more because of me.
I loved that compliment.
Think about someone who naturally finds joy in little things.
You leave feeling lighter.
You start to notice the little blessings you’re receiving.
That’s the kind of person I hope I’m becoming.
Not because life is easy.
But because joy is a choice I practice every day.
I don’t get it right all the time.
I still have hard days.
I still get discouraged.
But gratitude helps me return to peace much faster than I used to.
And I think that’s the glow people notice.
How to Build a Heart Full of Gratitude
If you’re waiting for life to become perfect before you’re happy, you’ll be waiting forever.
Instead, start here.
Start noticing the small things – getting a green light, having a good hair day, a bird whistling, the ability to walk, eating a delicious blueberry cobbler shake (from Handel’s, is my preference) or just being able to lay down on a bed instead of the ground at night.
You can even ask yourself these questions each day:
- What made me smile today?
- Who made my life better today?
- What prayer has already been answered?
- What challenge has made me stronger?
- What beauty did I almost overlook?
These questions slowly retrain your mind to notice abundance instead of scarcity.
Over time, your heart begins to change.
And when your heart changes…
Your face often does too.
Your smile becomes more genuine.
Your eyes become brighter.
Your presence becomes lighter.
People may even ask if you’re in love.
Maybe I will fall in love later on.
Maybe I won’t.
But I don’t want my joy to depend on another person.
I want it rooted in something that can’t be taken away.
For me, that’s gratitude.
A grateful heart changes the way you see your life.
It changes the way you treat people.
It changes the way you carry yourself.
And apparently…
It might even make someone think you’re in love.
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